How do I look good in photos when I hate selfies?

Phone front-cameras use focal lengths between 20mm and 30mm equivalent. Portrait photographers use 85mm or longer specifically to avoid this distortion. The result is that selfies make the feature closest to the lens (usually your nose) appear larger and flatten the cheekbones in ways the human eye does not. A photo taken from three metres away with the same phone's main camera will look completely different.

Lighting matters more than camera. Even daylight (north-facing window or open shade outdoors) flatters every face shape. Direct overhead light (most office and bar lighting) creates shadows under the eyes, nose, and chin that age the face by 5-10 years. The most-photogenic moment of any day is the hour before sunset (golden hour), which is what professional photographers call magic-hour for a reason.

Posture moves the needle. Lift your chin one to two centimetres above your usual rest position. Drop your shoulders back. The combination elongates the visible jawline and reduces the double-chin effect that destroys most casual photographs. Practice this in a mirror until it becomes automatic.

The mere-exposure effect (Zajonc, 1968) explains why you don't recognise yourself in photos. The mirror shows you the reversed version of your face you have seen every day of your life. Photos show the non-mirrored version, which looks unfamiliar even when it's an objectively good likeness. This effect resolves with time. People who hate selfies often come to like a specific photo of themselves after seeing it for a few weeks.